Who knew that we’d still have a show on a legitimate radio station after all this time? Shoreditch Radio still have time for us and our show, WHAT’S YOUR PLAN B, every Friday and the guests keep on coming. We’ve also just moved to some very fancy new studios in Stratford, so hold onto your butts for slick, flawless radio…
He tells us about his plan B, to be some sort of max level chef-wizard with extra points in VEGETABLE ALCHEMY, plays some big tunes and weighs up being Childish Gambino’s tour manager. Press play below or click here to listen!
Podshambles 44: Give Us Frubes is now OUT! Here’s what to expect:
Arrest those men and place them in Podtective Castody THIS INSTANT.
The two Shamblurais are back this week with a bag full of home cooked goodies. Laurie finally gets to meet Ponyo (the lasagne blacksmith) in Choose Your Own Adventure, Paddy pitches his genetic pug/duck splice, and who would have guessed we’d end up arguing over the value of making aeroplane noises whilst running.
Shuffle awkwardly, shimmy alluringly and waggle like there’s no need for waggling – it’s Podshambles 44.
Oh, my Poddarlings, what if I told you that not only could you listen to our wonderful podcast but that our likenesses were available via a MODERN AND EXCITING VIDEO FORMAT, too? You would bluster in disbelief, surely? Spit out your cherry cola with surprise? Shit yourself?
Well hold onto that belief, cola and spincter, dear Shamblet, for I’m about to rock your world: we are on YOUTUBE and have several exciting new videos to share with you.
First up: we’ve made a foray into tiny, unknown independent hit, Minecraft, which is definitely not already played, recorded and watched by millions already. We have, though, picked up a new and very hard game mode called Captive Minecraft, where you play within a very small boundary that extends only by unlocking the game’s achievements. It sounds weird but makes total sense when you see it in the flesh.
WHICH YOU CAN RIGHT NOW! Check in here with episode one, where we try and make our tiny impact on the fucked up, square-based version of the world:
Next: you may have already seen our series of The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess HD, the Wii U re-release of the stunning GameCube/Wii title and, in Podshambles LTD’s strictly professional opinion, one of the finer entries in the Zelda mythos. It’s dark and spooky and you can play as a wolf and honestly we’re totally over Linkin Park mum so stop going on at us GOD.
We’re up to episode five of this particularly romp through Hyrule – where we’ve JUST got hold of a sword and shield – so if you’re in the market for a speedy playthrough then, my fine feathered friend, you are drinking from the wrong toilet bowl. If you like hapless adventuring, fun with waterfowl and two gormless idiots in control of it all then TUNE IN.
A FRIENDLY REMINDER: You can see all our new videos AS THEY COME by subscribing to our little smut factory on YouTube! Point your browsers to “This is a Shambles” or click thyself on these very words to find it.
Podshambles 43: 100% Physical Intensity is now OUT! Here’s what to expect:
Let’s step up to the Podium and broadCast this mess, eh?
The Shambled-Eggs (Paddy & Laurie // egg friends 4 life) bring you this special bulletin (episode 43) and phwowsers it’s a dingaling. In this instalment: Laurie weighs up whether or not goats are our new best friends, Paddy eats six fabs and is continually surprised by horses, and the two cherubic wangers face off against Harkson, Mammond & Clay – three men who are definitely not based on the former cast of Top Gear.
Throw caution to the wind, flail wildly and die inside – it’s Podshambles 43.
Every now and then we like to update you, kind listeners and watchers, on the current status of our Shambleplans. When you’re lucky. And we remember too.
As it happens we’ve got some pretty damn exciting ideas scurrying around our Podbrains for the month of August, and luckily – for you – we remembered that we should tell you about them. So:
The first vital part of our upcoming Shamblemachinations is that Paddy is away for August. The fucker. But don’t worry! You can find him in Edinburgh performing as Jonny and the Baptists his latest rag-time Vaudeville showcase EAT THE POOR almost every day, if you’re there. I saw the previews in London this week and it’s properly excellent – a look at the growing divide in wealth and social strata in our world that made me have a proper think afterwards. Oh, and it’s hilarious in the meantime. You can buy tickets right here if you’d like.
Don’t be upset, though! Stop that wailing and gnashing of teeth, for goodness sake! We’ve got loads of treats for you!
Part two of the plan is that we have TWO PODCASTS READY TO GO KLAXON! Episode 43 will drop at the beginning of next week, while episode 44 is already in the can. We’ll also be recording episode 45 remotely while Paddy’s entertaining the pictish hordes, so that’ll follow soon after. Make sure you are subscribed on iTunes here and keeping your peepers peeled on Acast here to get the new episodes as soon as they’re released.
Part three of our butt-shatteringly brilliant strategy is to unleash some MORE YOUTUBE VIDEOS on your unsuspecting asses right away! First, we’ll be continuing our Twilight Princess playthrough and seeing throug the quest of fair young Dweebles to it’s natural conclusion (loads of rupees, elementally-themed temples and a final boss battle almost certainly with Ganon). We’ll also be starting a NEW SERIES set in Minecraft – yes, that brand new smash hit game Minecraft that people definitely haven’t been playing for the past 10 years. Those will both be up over the next few days – point your browsers at our YouTube channel THIS IS A SHAMBLES right now and SUBSCRIBE to get the latest updates.
Phew. I need a sit down. And a quick waterfowl break. There’s just TOO MUCH CRACKING STUFF.
Here’s the plan again, quickly, in case you forgot:
Those crazy WYPBoys (WYPBros? WYPBrethren?) are on the road to ruin again, but steered true and away from fire by KATE QUINN, actor and star of stage and screen! Kate is, of course, an old friend, confidante and part-time sous-chef of ours, appearing first waaaaay back in Podshambles 10 (listen here!)
She reveals to us her plan B which is to be in Casualty…except actually in it. With Charlie and the crew. Will she choose her real life, her plan B or – perhaps – her plan C, which sees her taking on cake-related superpowers?
Podshambles 42: Woops! There Go My Genitals is now OUT! Here’s what to expect:
Bread and butter Podding please – and don’t hold back on the Castard! Immediate edit: I’m convinced this counts as a pun. C’mon guys it’s been 42 episodes and I have to be honest I am running on empty when it comes to puns that contain rhymes for both Pod and Cast.
The Shambiblical prophets return with word of a podcast. Be prepared for Paddy’s new game ‘Where’s Dad?’, get ready for Laurie/Flagon’s new friend Russo Alicante, and hold onto your butts for the weirdest game of Would You Rather you are likely to hear this week/lifetime/butts.
Lick your fingers, remember your regrets and cry into your casserole – it’s Podshambles.
The beats keep groovin’ over at Shoreditch Radio – and, more importantly, they’re still letting us idiots hang around and interview people. Laurie and Paddifer are joined by musician (and maybe magician) Rob Sell, better known as part of SLKY and collaborator with Rudimental and China Moses. He reveals how his plan B would be…to customise motorbikes! Wowee! Whizzo! Zoom! And other fast noises.
Well this week’s been a shitter, hasn’t it? We don’t believe in broadcasting the political debate here at Shambles HQ but rest assured that we’re a little disappointed at the outcome of the Referendum, even though our European Activities will continue at full pace.
It’s also been absolutely PISSING IT DOWN in London and the rest of the country: par for the course, naturally, and also a hallmark of hippy-Mecca happy-time music-party mud-slog Glastonbury Festival, which just finished this weekend. If you’re sane, like us, you went nowhere near a festival site that boasts hits such as “The Ditch of Death”, “Mabel’s Racist Cow Retirement Home” and “Oh God It’s a Room Full of Middle Class Children”, but still wanted to enjoy some of the music on offer.
Luckily, we’re here to help at Podshambles. Because that’s what we’re here for. Making podcasts and writing a bit about bands we like.
RUNNING DOWN FROM MOST TO LEAST LIKELY TO APPEAR ON THE QUEEN’S “TOP CHOONZ” COMPILATION:
Dancing Years
Pick number one is Dancing Years, a five-piece from Leeds that sound a bit like what would happen if Damien Rice, Sigur Rós and the Divine Comedy met for a few beers at their local before getting a bit sad and writing some songs around the knackered pub piano. Their set is sadly unavailable to watch in full but Neon Lights – on YouTube below – is a booze-fuelled and plaintive lover’s lament thanks to swallowed vocals from Dave Henshaw. The band’s other output ranges from not-so-laddy singalongs (Here’s To My Old Friends a particular treat) to angrier, more textured numbers that borrow from the aforementioned Icelanders. At present they’re touring a few venues up North but keep an eye on these cheeky Yorkshire chappies for other dates soon – they’re well worth skipping along to see.
Kamasi Washington
Man, Kamasi Washington. If you’re a jazzy hip-hop head you may already know of the Los Angeles funker, who’s played in the past alongside household names like Herbie Hancock, Lauryn Hill, Nas, Snoop Dogg, Flying Lotus, Thundercat – the list goes on. He was also a formative influence and saxy presence in the studio for Kendrick Lamar’s To Pimp a Butterfly, widely regarded as one of the finest hip-hop albums produced in the last decade. On his own, Kamasi leads his own little band that put out some seriously fraught jams – the best jams there are – in huge, sweeping compositions that often last some 20 minutes. Check his whole set from the West Holts Stage right here, especially the shifting, pulsing highlight The Rhythm Changes.
Låpsley
AKA Holly Lapsley Fletcher, Låpsley is not some fey Scandinavian songstress but a young singer from Southport via Scotland who makes soft and spacey songs (where there enough susurruses in that sentence?) Her restrained keys, vocal manipulation and ear for a heart-swelling chorus are all hallmarks of a sound that sits somewhere between SOHN, Santigold and Jamie Woon, but is of course so much more than the sum of Låpsley’s inspirations. She played a few times over the weekend but her stripped down appearance on the BBC Introducing stage is well worth indulging in: check out Station below.
Sigur Rós
I’m pretty sure these Icelandic lads can do anything – they can make the most enchanting elf-music that it is possible to imagine, they put on a wicked light show and they even have appeared in Game of Thrones at what is officially the most satisfyingly macabre wedding EVER – but seeing them on this most recent tour, live and in the flesh, is something special. Though they had shed keyboards player Kjartan Sveinsson and, with him, a lot of the melodic, delicate twinkly bits some fans may love them for, Sigur Rós have re-cast themselves as a trio of mad, loud, angry thunderbastards, making a cacophony on stage that sounds like three ancient whales beaching themselves in an industrial dystopia. Or something near that effect.
Foals
I dunno if you’ve ever heard of these small-time dweebs from Oxfordshire – let alone the one that’s related to award-winning comedian and podcast Paddy “Fights with Emus” Gervers – but Foals picked up Glastonbury festival firmly by the lapels, blew some whiskey-spiked breath in its face and then walloped it around the face for the duration of their mega-set on the Pyramid Stage. You can watch highlights from their barnstorming, trouser-ripping set right here, but really you should go an experience them live. Paddy and Laurie did and barely recovered, their ears blown inside out, their trousers removed and butts firmly rocked by the power of Wally’s bass playing ALONE. Tracks from the fivesome’s latest LP What Went Down really belong on the big stage, the intricate math-rock of early Foals giving way to the snorting, sweaty, black stallion that they’ve now become. Phwoar.
BONUS: Secret list of bands you should boycott at all costs:
The Last Shadow Puppets. Because Alex Turner doesn’t need any more excuses to keep dressing Miles Kane up as himself, Alex Turner.
Bastille. Just dreadful. All the poise of a pissed goose and none of the class.
Tom Odell. YOU’RE NOT KIDDING ANYONE, TOM. YOU ARE GOING TO BE REMEMBERED FOR YOUR CONTRIBUTION TO ADVERT SOUNDTRACKS, TOM. O DEAR, OH DELL.
Wolf Alice. You’ll ask “WHY?” repeatedly during their set, eg: Why is the lead singer suddenly doing screamo? Why does the lead guitarist look like he dipped his hair in tippex? Why are we watching?
Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats. Nothing wrong with them or their music but that is a gross band name.
Podshambles 41: Idiotic And Asinine (Live From Sweden) is now OUT! Here’s what to expect:
Whack out your fishing Pod and Cast out your Shamblenets because this voyage has just become overtly bountiful.
Correct. Laurie & Paddy are back for Season 3 of the Podcast both previously and currently known as Podshambles. We bring this episode to you LIVE from some kind of Swedish country haven – exciting stuff, right?
Paddy gets drunkenly emotional, Laurie finally talks about his wanger, and the Shamblemen get down to the nitty-gritty reflecting on their Swedish getaway together. Featuring shiny new jingles!
