Category: Blogshambles

The writings of The Shambles.

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Shambletracks: Zac does Mark Ronson

HELLO and good day.

You lucky (maybe) readers have the pleasure of getting stuck into a guest blog-post today: I, Zac, will be stepping into the role usually held by either one of Messrs Paddy or Laurie, and doing my best impression of a shambolic human being. I am, in fact, quite a coherent and organised individual, but I will try my hardest to fit the Podshambles billing. You could even say I am quite literally a ‘sham’ Shambler.

I’m going to come at this from a slightly different angle to the manner in which Paddy and Laurie invade your Internet. All the songs put forth by the Podshambles blog (Shamblog? Podblog? Blambles?) thus far have been brilliant, and I am a fan, but I shall veer away from the Indie/Rock/Niche vibes which have dominated until now and have a think about someone far more mainstream – hear me out, OK?

It being Wednesday – in my opinion the worst day of the week – I thought people could use a pick-me-up. Sitting slap-bang in the middle of the week, Wednesday’s far enough away from the previous weekend that anything fun you got up to begins to fade into a fuzzy memory and so far away from the coming weekend that freedom is nothing more than a distant dream. Goddamit Wednesday.

To pick you up out of the spiralling whirlpool of misery that is the middle of the working week, I thought I’d propose a song to help you all get your funk back. Your Uptown Funk that is…and seamlessly we segue into today’s topic. (See what I did there? Or did I ruin it by telling you exactly what I did?)

 

I’ve never been totally sure of Mark Ronson: not in the sense I mistrust him as a person – I am sure he is lovely – but rather I can never make up my mind as to whether he is a talented musical producer or some sort of musical dilettante.

On the surface, he seems able to throw his hand to any genre of music and turn it into a popular hit. He was able to (in my opinion) better an already great song in The Zutons’ Valerie, improve a rather rubbish song tenfold with Oh My God, create a unbelievably catchy hit in The Bike song and all the while doing so using the input of rather irritating musicians. Generally, I am not one to sing the praises of Lilly Allen, Amy Winehouse or the front man from the annoying band who sing about having the same jeans on for more than one day, but throw mark Ronson into the mix and I find myself bobbing my head along nonetheless.

That’s not to say Ronson has never missed the mark: his interpretation of Radiohead’s Just is a jazzy but ultimately soulless facsimile – but then Just is a fantastic song to begin with, so he was perhaps biting off more than he could chew with that one.

In addition, Ronson is almost always his own worst enemy. His songs are catchy and ultimately great pop songs, getting people to bop along happily but then thanks to his prowess at writing such melodies or reformulating existing hits these songs are played incessantly by unimaginative radio DJs. His hits then become omnipresent, played on every station and in every shop, seemingly appearing everywhere. Inevitably we (or, at least, I) begin to hate these songs, and in turn blame poor Mark for ever subjecting us to his music.

Mark is, of course, not to blame for this, but the people who think because a song is great we need to hear it every second, of every day, ever, definitely are.

But, I digress. Enough of rambling on about Mark Ronson, and to my original point: helping you all get your mid-week funk on.

Fortunately for me, I came to the Uptown Funk party late, and by the time I even realised it was a thing the song’s buzz was already beginning to fade, so I haven’t heard it a million-and-one times. It’s reminiscent of the great tunes that powered the 70s soul train, helped keep afros perfectly spherical and made flares cool despite all evidence to the contrary. Uptown Funk has of course been updated for the 21st century but stays true to the pillars of 70s funk: a great bass-line beat, an optimistic guitar riff and a charismatic front-man. Throw in some saxophone fun and you end up with something it’s impossible not to bob your head along to and imagine yourself donning a pink blazer about town (just me?)

Well, anyway, I hope this tune does act as a pill to fight the midweek blues. If you have already heard this and you’re sick of the sight of Bruno Mars – completely understandable – then I apologise and can assure you you’ll be back reading the wit and whimsy of either Paddy or Laurie tomorrow.

I hope that stream of consciousness was shambolic enough for you all; if not, check this wonderful mess of a scenario out.

Have a groovy day,

Love,

Zac x

 

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Shambletracks: Sharon Van Etten is better than lots of things.

OH LOOK. IT’S ME AGAIN. HOW PREDICTABLE.

Paddy is back on the mic and when he rocks the mic he rocks the mic right* – and don’t you forget it pal, because woah hey here I am and with me I’ve got both Tony & Guy. In my head that whole intro bit sounded really very brilliant but now that I look at it I don’t think it comes across in the same way on a page as it does in a funny voice with actions and so on.

So as Laurie III (Duke of Snug) outlined, we’ve been hungover. And there is now confusion. I think I was meant to release this last night? I have no idea. Maybe Laurie XIII (Earl of Cuddles) will do another today. We have no idea. We’re on track though – right? GET IT. ON TRACK. CAUSE OF TRACKS. OH GOD I AM SO ALONE.

Anyway, today I have chosen the sound of Sharon Van Etten. Laurie sent me this about a year ago and I’ve been hooked on her ever since – she’s just brilliant. I had a real struggle trying to choose one track to show you, but the beauty of Shambletracks is that I can just do another/I have to do another. I have something like 26000 songs on this laptop, so after roughly 142.368240931 years you will have heard all of them. And that’s assuming Laurie and I never have any musical taste crossover. Oh God.

I’ve decided to show you ‘Give Out’. It was a toss-up between this, ‘Serpents’ (as heard on The Walking Dead OST), ‘Peace Signs’ (which reminds me of ‘Disarm’ by Smashing Pumpkins in a big/good way) and ‘I Know’ – along with all her other songs. I really really had to think about this one and I hope I’ve chosen wisely. The song is (to me) about finding love and losing it (but isn’t everything these days). Following someone to the ends of the earth only to have to make the return journey alone. Wow that sounded more upsetting than I meant it to.

Give it a listen and see what you think – it’s pure and haunting like a good-natured spectre who has just cried for an hour.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exJ3AG0JIeo

Also this may be against the spirit of things, but check out her acoustic version live on the KEXP Pickathon. It will hopefully blow you away. I’ll put it here:

Well that’s it from me today – keep on being great people.

Big love,

Paddy XX

*You should see me do it. It’s genuinely quite astounding. Some even say that if you’ve got no love then you’re with the wrong man (and therefore) it’s time to move your body**.

**Especially if you’re struggling with attracting a partner but your main buddy/pal is really good at it. Maybe you should…dance?

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Shambletracks: Easy like an Alt-J morning

Alt-J looking like moody buggers

Oh Shambles. We’re feeling delicate today. Paddy and I have finally done it – we’ve finally bust through to HANGOVER TOWN. Next stops, QUESTIONABLE TOILET NOISES and ADDICTION TO LEMSIP, passing briefly through REGRETVILLE, with a lovely view of HEY ALL THOSE THINGS YOU DID WHEN YOU THOUGHT NO-ONE WAS LOOKING BUT SOME PRICK WITH A CAMERA PHONE HAS IMMORTALISED FOR AT LEAST, LIKE, A WEEK.

Anyway, that’s my excuse for why I missed the deadline for Shambletracks yesterday and instead have crawled in late, piss-soggy and incoherent, groping for my dignity and trailing trousers. Sorry.

We did the classic one-two of ‘Host a Birthday Party then go and see the hottest indie quartet in town’ this weekend, celebrating both the anniversary Paddy-shambles’ brave liberation from the womb and Alt-J’s delicious introduction to London’s favourite tit monument, the O2 arena. They put on an absolute barnstormer of the show for us, Zac and Chloé, who accompanied us because we needed responsible adults to stop us doing naughty things. Everything from moody set opener ‘Hunger of the Pine‘ – helped by arrays of pulsing red lights, glowering like some enormous pan-galactic android – to perennial hit ‘Tessellate‘ was upgraded for the massive O2 stage, but the four Cambridge lads remained friendly and inclusive rather than aloof or arrogant, which is always lovely to see.

Paddy even managed to swank himself into the VIP area and sit next to Ellie Roswell, lead singer of supporting band Wolf Alice; they were an unexpected treat, their songs heavy, lairy and disjointed, like a souped-up Sonic Youth, and the pleasingly-named ‘Moaning Lisa Smile‘ was particularly brillo.

The only thing they didn’t get round to was playing their stripped back cover of Thin Lizzy’s ‘Dancing in the Moonlight’, trading in the funked-up bass and finger clicks for a glockenspiel and Joe Newman’s typically swallowed vocals. It’s far more a starry-eyed walk of wonder home than the original’s swagger up the street, but it’s absolutely beautiful. May it soothe you this Sunday morning and make you forget how many times you made that slightly inappropriate joke about ham hocks and imams while pulling ‘that Roy Chubby Brown face’.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSHygiOnwTA

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Shambletracks: Lovecraft In Brooklyn is my jam.

“A new day, a new Shambletrack” as the really really famous saying definitely goes.

Wow guys it’s been a crazy ride getting here but we made it. When we started Shambletracks back on January 21st 2015 we could not have imagined this kind of runaway success – it’s just been amazing. Thank you all so much for your unending support through this mental and emotional time – I really feel like we deserve this; and hey, here’s to another 2 days!

Wow I think I just accurately used a semicolon (Zac helped). (Zac wrote it) – Now I, can go back to misusin-g ‘punctuation” at Will*!#coolmoves.

*like at will, not targeting someone called William. Although we could totally do that.

ANYWAY.

Today I have chosen Lovecraft In Brooklyn by The Mountain Goats. I have done this for many reasons. These will now become clear through the medium of information.

1. Laurie and I have given two relatively soft and melodic choices to you guys so far so I thought I’d add something a bit more thumping and drum-driven.

2. I’m currently reading The Lovecraft Anthology and this came on shuffle and I was all like ‘whaaaaaaaaaaat!?’ but then realised no one cared and broke my self-made surprise tableaux THAT I WORKED ON FOR AGES MIND YOU ROBERT.

3. I love this band. I love this song. I love basically everything about them and it, respectively.

4. I will be in Brooklyn next month. I feel that’s perhaps relevant.

You should (if you haven’t already) go and buy everything they have ever released. This album is called ‘Heretic Pride‘ and is wonderful, although if you’re looking for something to hook you onto The Mountain Goats I’d recommend picking up a copy of ‘The Sunset Tree’ or ‘Tallahassee’ first?

OH and the other thing that’s interesting about this song is it’s basically about a man who starts to identify with H.P Lovecraft at the height of his paranoia, racism and fear of everyone. Lovecraft moved to Brooklyn pursuing his love for a lady, and found the whole place terrifying – don’t worry though, the song’s overriding feeling is of disconnection and being alienated as opposed to ‘what it’s like to fear immigrants’.

Anyways, give it a listen and see what you think. It’s definitely the band’s heaviest song (by quite a long way) so if it doesn’t click with you, check out some of their more acoustic/folksy stuff on youtube.

BIG LOVE.

PADDY. XX

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Shambletracks: Hannah Lou Clark

So, not content with me having to write for my job – and most of my free time – Paddy decided that we should embark on a daily series about our favourite tunes of the moment.

Brilliant.

Thanks Paddy.

It’s entirely your fault if I start drifting into talking about the latest investor sentiment forecasts or, vice versa, if geese and Led Zeppelin start appearing in my work stuff.

ANYWAY – this is called Shambletracks, this is post number two, and it’s my turn.

Today, we’re chatting all kinds of shit about Hannah Lou Clark, a cracker of a songwriter who hails from our own green, Clarkson-ridden shores. She might be known to you in her previous form, Foe, all brightly-coloured wigs, heavy guitars and who I was a bit mixed about seeing at Kendall Calling 2012 (for many of us, the most seminal gig ever – who could forget the Lancashire Hotpot’s Sunday evening barnstormer, eh? EH?)

She’s back around today in an entirely more appealing guise. Paddy and I both have a soft spot for grungey, guitar-lead melancholo-rock (hey look at me, making up words like a real music journalist), especially if topped off by some gorgeous female vocals. HLC (to her friends) is exactly that – her lyrics are simple but evocative, her voice fragile but powered-up and meaty when it matters (that’s the name of mine and Paddy’s burlesque double-act, by the way) (POWERED UP and MEATY WHEN IT MATTERS present BIG HOT DOG ON CAMPUS, A CHILDREN’S TALE).

My favourite track from her three-track EP – Kids in Heat – is a boozy, faded love song, the slurred flirting from the end of a drunken summer evening, all sweet and savage at once. The lyrics are obsessive and tender – ‘let me wipe away your tears/lick the salt from your skin’ – while an open-tuned guitar layers over a washy backdrop. It’s got some elements of the best Smashing Pumpkins creep-o ballads, the dreamiest Warpaint jams and topped up with a pinch of Big Deal.

You can buy the EP online right ‘ere on Bandcamp, as a record or an MP3 (or a FLAC, if you’re a wanker) and she’s doing some tour dates around the country. I can’t bloody wait to see her, and neither should you.

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Songshambles? Shambletracks? It is what it is. I think.

Greetings The Shambles (I’m trying to actually use that now – we agreed on it like a year ago and then forgot. We are all The Shambles. Like a mass of disorganised, beautiful mess).

Now this is something I’ve been meaning to do for a while. I know we sporadically release episodes, blog posts and even wildly off-topic content in a manner that can only really be described as ‘havocly’ (spellchecker says this is not a word – it has now been added to my dictionary so in a way I’ve rewritten…history?) but I really want to do something regular and reliable for you guys. Some day this will be episodes and a youtube channel, I hope, but until such a time comes this will have to do. Think of this as a trial period of us adhering to some kind of schedule.

So WHAT IT IS is this – a song. Every day (every day? Yeah sure why not). And it’s not going to be something we’ve written (it might sometimes but that isn’t really the point – plus my job is writing songs and it takes ages, I spent a month co-writing a song-a-day two years ago and it almost ended me).

We’ve hinted at our music taste before on the podcast, and we sometimes tweet about it or whatever it is you kids are doing these days with your iPads and casual sex, but this is about our actual tastes and why.

Every day one of us will post a song (most likely a youtube link) that is either excellent or awful or weird or exciting or hugely depressing or enormously invigorating or…well basically anything. It will be a song that we have listened to that day and feels right to post about and share it with you guys. Maybe you’ll find a new band you love, or a new artist you hate, but either way it’s something we can all do together – and that’s going to be fucking lovely. I even want you guys to get involved and suggest things, or perhaps more importantly decide on a name for whatever this is. I have suggested Songshambles or Shambletracks, but that is primarily because I’m a rare combination of stubborn, lazy and impressionable.

So here we go.

It only seems right to start with one of my favourite songs of all time. It’s called ‘If You’d Seen A Battlefield‘ and it’s by Youthmovies. Expect to hear a fair bit of Youthmovies, as they are one of those bands that totally changed me. The album IYSAB is from is called Good Nature, and it is genuinely exceptional. I went to the final ever Youthmovies show on March 27th 2010 in Oxford and I cried. I cried like a wuss at an onion farm. I really hope you like it.

‘It’s not going well and it’s not going badly – It’s just going‘. Absolutely perfect.

Until next time,

Paddy XX

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It’s like Podshambles Season One but again and different.

Wowsers.

Season Two (of Podshambles (the podcast we do (we being Laurie and I (I being Paddy (you guys probably already know this))))) is now underway-underway (as opposed to simply underway) and the parentheses are quite simply out of our control.

We released Podshambles 22: Meet The Klumps the other night and it was only then I googled it and realised the film may not in fact be called Meet The Klumps. Sources differ, of course, but it normally comes up as The Nutty Professor II: The Klumps. Turns out the first one (The Nutty Professor) is a remake of the 1963 hit film ‘The Nutty Professor‘ starring Jerry Lewis and co-written with Bill Richmond.

Nail-biting stuff. Truly.

Anyways here I sit with a massive list of stuff on the Shambleagenda. The Shambleagenda is basically a notebook with a space invader on the front cover, and it contains all of the things we eventually wish to achieve when we have the time. Is that time now? We hope so. Everything is just so fucking busy. We have kids to support you see (this is a lie) and there’s only so many winters Tunk and Bungy (our fictional children) can make it through without chorizo on the table and wine in their glasses (also our fake children love cured meat and alcohol – apparently). Just so you guys know the score, you know?

I sincerely hope you’re enjoying the new stuff. As you can tell we’ve redone the editing a bit, sorted out some of the jingles and got some better sound equipment. This does sort of fill me with hope, as although it has taken us about 18 months to get to this point we now have far more time to play about with Podshambles and plan the rest of This Is A Shambles (that’s going to be the collective name for everything we do and everything this becomes). We now have thousands of listeners, more ideas than is useful, and a degree of whatever the podcast equivalent of street cred is. I feel we’ve said cool stuff is on the horizon a million and one times, and each time we say it with more confidence. This is nothing but a good thing. Cool stuff is on the horizon.

Oh wow I’ve just remembered it’s the new season of The Walking Dead tonight. That is going to be fucking excellent.

Anyway, we’re going to try and be far more in touch with you guys as of now. I know most of us speak on Twitter and Facebook and whatnot and hoohah and bimbam, but it’s rare for Loz and I to maintain any kind of true consistency on those platforms. We’ll try harder, because at the end of the day we love you guys and you make this podcast what it is. I mean in all honestly it’s a fucking Shambles, but that’s awesome and makes us smile. We wanna hear what you guys want. We’ve had a lot of suggestions to do a youtube channel with gaming videos and this is something we’re following up. As we speak I am buying a bunch of screen-capture software and a ton of games we want to play and record for you guys. We may start with Minecraft, which I know is a path much trodden, but fuck it. I’ve never played it before. I want to learn how. Laurie has played it before. Laurie desperately doesn’t want to have to teach me. IT’S A PLATINUM IDEA CLEARLY.

But yeah. We’ll move on to doing some more stuff after that. I really want us to try some radio slots and maybe organise some kind of annual Shambleholders Meeting. I think that would be cool. Also I think we need more cannons.

Moving away from that and more into the shit I normally talk about, I just finished reading The Road by Cormac McCarthy and it’s stunning. Read it. That and Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami. Which is also a bloody treat.

I should really stop writing now as I still have a shit-ton of work to do, but there you have it – a post.

A post to remember. A post to forget.

A post in the darkness and a post in the light.

A post to rule all other posts, as the glistening autumn moon casts it’s influence over us like ripples in a mug of old tap water.

Exceptional.

Oh and also I got bitten by a duck the other day (can things with beaks…bite? Or is there another word for it when they don’t have teeth? Like nipped or tweaked or something? I’ll check it out guys – don’t worry) and it was one of the happiest moments of my life. I also found my hat, which I know sounds like a very minor detail, but I have been distraught. This hat has been with me through thick and thin with it’s gentle woollen grace and I’ve missed it dearly. It was under a pile of pieces of paper, onto which I had written ‘OMG DON’T MOVE THESE PAPERS’ so I didn’t think to look there. I also have no idea why I would write that on what is effectively 290 sheets of blank A4 paper sat inconveniently on the floor in the middle of my room. Sometimes I am a dick.

We love you, all the best, be sure to buy more feathers.

Paddy & Laurie XXXXX

 

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Season 2 Launch!

LOLLEMMING

Podshambles Season 2 has just begun! After the Ball FM saga, Podshambles 21: The Five Bears has hit the ground running. And the launch party is happening…

AND YOU ARE INVITED! DETAILS ARE AS FOLLOWS:

EVENT: Podshambles Season 2 Launch Party.

WHO: Everybody is invited.

WHERE: Our flat.

WHEN: Now (00:31 on 17/09/2017) until about 6 minutes time (00.37 on 17/09/2017).

WHY: Launch Event for the new season of Podshambles.

HOW: Drinking and revelry.

WHICH: All of them.

WHENCE: Indeed.

WHETHER: Or not.

WEATHER: Looking good/dark.

WHITHER: Bill Withers.

HENCEFORTH: Predictably.

FORTHWITH: Exactly.

HENCE: Forth.

WHOM: Everybody is invited (again – we’re just reminding you).

WHOSE: We (Paddy & Laurie).

DID: Yes we did.

WILL: And will continue to.

DO: Fine we will do it.

CAN: Yes we probably can.

WITH: You.

So there you bloody have it. Arrive now please. Or don’t. Actually don’t we are tired and comfortable.

Enjoy Season 2. We love you.

Podshambles.

Pangolin.

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BALL FM IS NOW.

BALLS UP!

The goose is loose, and your goose is cooked – Ball FM is both enhancing and ruining radio for everyone, everywhere.

Paddy is home from the land of Scotlandland, Laurie has found his vintage photograph of former Filipino defender Ziggy Tonog, and the balls fall mainly on the walls. In short, little Podcherubs are taking flight into the Casterlife and you should now be receiving DAILY UPDATES from the fantastically ill-prepared presenters over at Ball FM. These guys are here to ready you for Podshambles Season 2, which is coming imminently like we always say it is. Except this time we mean it – Podshambles S02E01 is sitting on my desktop ready to be uploaded and released. Thank you all for your unending patience and faith in all things shambolic.

So ready your pangolins, lift up your pangolins and settle down your pangolins:

Pangolin pangolins pangolin, pangolin.

Pangolin pangolin; pangolins pangolins.

Pangolin.

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Actual things are actually happening, actually

Laurie ponders the evening's issues

From the desk of Laurence Havelock, bon viveur and inventor of several cuts of trouser

Friends, family, fans and others,

You’ll be pleased to know that Paddy and I have slightly moved ourselves from our resounding arse-sitting position and have actually bloody recorded some stuff for Podshambles, due to lap up against your ears like the shore of a gentle lake or the tongue of a randy dog in the coming weeks. To make sure you can get the whole series of updates (YEAH THAT’S RIGHT, MORE THAN ONE), make sure you subscribe on iTunes here or make sure your reader is updated with our podcast RSS feed.

So please, rest assured that we are actually bloody doing something and will have lots of stuff for you soon. Promise.

Paddy and I have both been pretty bloody busy. Well, maybe he has had more reason to, after being at the centre of a bloody news storm, even getting blogged about by Stewart ‘Comedy Vehicle’ Lee on the Guardian. In between meeting his publicist for machiattos, getting outrageous new hairstyles and publicly lambasting political parties, he’s also organising a tour of the country which you should definitely look at – if only there was somewhere you could get tickets.

As for me, well, it’s all been looking up. After my second-hand speedboat company went under – a small incident involving a family of belligerent seagulls claiming that after their aunty Josephine was caught in a particularly violent turbine engine meant that we were sued for several million pounds – I tried my hand at vaudeville dance, but was quickly found out for being far more of a rag-time kinda guy (a completely humiliating experience, I tell you).

Anyway, after the lengthy court proceedings, I eventually made my way to Bremen, with the sole intention of becoming the world’s leading kitchen and BBQ tongs entrepreneur. I met up along the way with a sardonic gannet called Henrik, a tax collector from Coventry named Beryl O’Monkeys, and my own lingering sense of self-doubt. Together, we crossed the mighty autobahns of south-western Germany, overcoming the grim wardens of many roadside service stations and protecting our sacred burden, The Galvanised Sausage-Switchers of Morrison’s, the most fantastic set of tongs we’d ever laid our eyes upon.

In the end, though Beryl O’Monkeys ended up being a sleeper agent for the wicked Lord Armpit, king of the Orang-Utans and the opposite of an all-round swell guy. After many moons of fighting, our precious Sausage-Switchers were wrenched from my possession and brave, brave Henrik fell. And died. As did my lingering sense of self-doubt.

Anyway, the long and the short of it is that I’ve got a lot more time on my hands, especially if my self-basting turkey idea takes off. In the mean time, if you’re in the UK make sure you continue squeezing every last ounce of good out of this lovely weather, if you’re abroad then celebrate our good fortune with a traditional British jellied eel, and have a listen to this while you do. Good evenday!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mlrXFk6RjDk