Month: February 2014

We hope you like the picture. It is of us aged about 16 when we were carefree young overambitious little ‘uns.

Here we go.

It’s the wee hours of Saturday morning. A buzzard floats aggressively past the window, the distant moan of a capsizing boat ululates across the dense expanse of London, an eagle is born somewhere – and all alone in a little wooden (not wooden) house (flat) two chimps sit wrestling over the final Salt ‘n’ Vinegar chipstick. We are those chimps. Those chimps have just realised they have a small amount of free time tomorrow afternoon. They know what they must do.

Commence.

The metaphor is clearly self-explanatory but JUST IN CASE FOR THE SLOW ONES Laurie and I will be starting actual work on Podshambles Season 2 tomorrow. Actual actual work. Like hosting sites, ideas, new music, perhaps even a little warm-up recording. It’s been two months now since the built-in microphone of my laptop had to deal with us but soon that absence will come to an end. Although technically it will continue, as we have an ACTUAL MICROPHONE now. That’s damn fucking right. It’s still only one mic – we’re not ready for this dual audio stereo two-mic caper that the big dogs use. It will still basically be the two of us sat in the same place as always, but this time with a high-quality microphone (oddly shaped like a sort of…chrome…bollock) sat in between us. BOY ARE WE STOKED. We’re genuinely stoked. I haven’t got to use that word in a while but now I’m doing it and don’t you try and stop me you toadbastard you.

You’ve all been very patient, and that’s marvellous and hugely appreciated. Podshambles will be back soon, and with it will come storms and plague and naughty prophets. Or similar. Does anyone have anything in particular they would like to see in Season 2? Or something they wouldn’t like to see? Or hear, perhaps more appropriately? Or actually see, perhaps also appropriately (lolyoutubechannelcomingsoontoolol)? Or is everyone happy to basically just let us do whatever we want again? Do tweet or email us, you know all of this by now but just to reiterate it’s @podshambles on twitter, or podshambles@gmail.com. Wow I haven’t written those in a while. This is going to be seriously fucking fun.

Oh also has anyone read Among Thieves by Douglas Hulick? And if so is it good and should I read it? Sorry that’s an aside.

Here is a sequence of hastily constructed haiku to make this post have haiku in it.

Is haiku plural?
Or was that my first mistake?
I sure love haiku(s).

A penguin shits ice
Literally everywhere
Poor penguin, cold arse.

Laurie is asleep
Little does he know, I’m there
Trimming his beard.

HOw mAny DuCKS noW?!
ThaT IS FAr tOo MANY ducKS!!
throW AwAY the DucKs.

I’m ending this blog
Right here, right now, with this:
Podshambles cometh.

So as you will (or won’t) have noticed (or not noticed), I have been absent from the internet and life for at least a week. I was struck down with a terrible illness known in the medical community as ‘fucked’, which left me dilapidated and at best, awful. But hooray – I have re-emerged from my cocoon of telekinetic energy (a reference to the worst line in X-Men: The Last Stand, and possibly the worst explanation ever given for anything in the history of shit explanations) a new man. Due to the nature of that long section of parentheses, that whole ‘a new man’ bit may confuse you (as it did me), as it had literally been ages since I started that sentence. To reiterate – I have re-emerged from my cocoon of telekinetic energy (CoTE for short) a new man. I sort of did it again there, further confusing things. Basically I’m fine.

Laurie was going to do loads of Blogshambles posts whilst I was fucked in the CoTE, but he didn’t. He has a pretty good reason though, as he totally caught whatever I had because we share food and baths and long walks on the beach and the soft crunch of autumn leaves underfoot as we frolic through the avenues of our mind/London. Laurie went a bright shade of red for about seventy hours, and I became antisocial and afraid of light – a terrible combination I will assure you. I also had to cancel everything so am now very behind on existing. Which is annoying. Laurie is also mending – do not panic geese.

So what else is there. Um.

Oh! The official release/press and PR whatnot push is on Monday but I might as well tell you now that my comedy band Jonny & The Baptists have just released our new single and music video! It’s called UKIP. I will post a link imminently:

There you go. For those of you who don’t know (and why would you) Jonny & The Baptists is the thing I spend 95% of my time doing with the marvellous Jonny Donahoe. Do check it out if you haven’t already at www.jonnyandthebaptists.co.uk. Laurie gigs with us sometimes on the big-violin or smaller version of a baritone saxophone. Also we really need to Stop UKIP so…get involved.

What else what else what else…eurgh sorry I’ve become a bit slow over the past week. What I HAVE been doing is reading a lot of graphic novels, primarily Fables, From Hell, and The Unwritten. I will explain:

Fables is a phenomenally brilliant ongoing graphic novel (final issue ETA 2015 I think?) by Bill Willingham about all the fairytales and fables being forced out of their kingdoms and setting up camp in New York. It sounds odd but is just stunning, beautifully written and well worth all of the time you have.

Likewise From Hell. Ignore everything you know about Jack the Ripper or the From Hell movie because this is so much better than both of those things. Written by Alan Moore and artist Eddie Campbell, this is something really special. It’s much grittier in it’s premise and design than Fables, and the artwork totally reflects that, but it will suck you in and take over your life (until it ends – which it will because it’s just one big book and then you’re done). Buy that. Or borrow it. You can borrow mine if you live right near me and know me already and it isn’t weird.

Finally The Unwritten – by Mark Carey with art by Peter Gross. I think this really is the best of the bunch (at least so far). I don’t even want to tell you anything about it because it is so mind-blowing and so hard to explain. It’s the story of stories. I genuinely urge you to go and get a copy of it. Buy Volume 1 (5 issues, about a tenner?) and see what you think because it’s a real game-changer for me.

So yes. That is that. I’m working early tomorrow so must to bed, but here is me getting the Blogshambles back on course. Havelock will be joining us shortly and helping me make the rest of the website work because I’ve somehow made it not work as it should. Joy joy.

Big love xx